All The Drama That Caused A Fake Missile Alert In Hawaii, Explained

January 20, 2018

I think we can all agree that every day is a waking nightmare that may or may not end in a nuclear war depending on what the stable genius illiterate bag of orange farts in a suit over in the Oval Office feels like tweeting that day. What a dream. Anyway, Hawaii had like, a real life “this is the end” scare over the weekend when an emergency missile alert…


Turns Out James Franco Is Both Annoying And Creepy

January 17, 2018

It’s a new day in Hollywood, which means there are new accusations against a powerful Hollywood man. And surprise surprise, betches, that man is James Franco, someone who’s made me make this face: Of course he is denying everything because that’s par for course with these types of ghoulish men. Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers both were like, point blank, “are you a creep?” And he had the audacity to…


Here Your Weekly Horoscopes For January 8-14

January 15, 2018

Are you mentally prepared for week two of 2018? Muster all of the stable genius you can. The Sun, Venus, Mars, Saturn and Pluto are all hanging out in Capricorn this week, so be prepared for a Monday of readjusting to a full week of work with a few minor surprises along the way. Joy. Gemini Your financial situation is looking better than its looked in months thanks to a…


Papa John Isn’t In Charge Of Papa John’s Anymore

January 6, 2018

Good news: some racist asshole is stepping down from his position because everyone hates him. Bad news: I’m not talking about Trump. I’m talking about John Schnatter, or as I like to call him: Who? Schnatter is the CEO of Papa John’s, and will be stepping down in the new year after receiving backlash for talking shit about the NFL for not stopping their players from kneeling during the national…


Donald Trump Might Ruin The Royal Wedding For Everyone

January 5, 2018

By now, it should be old news to you that Prince Harry is engaged to Meghan Markle. We’ve been over it, and it’s time to move on to more pressing logistical issues, like who is getting invited to the wedding of the year. Doing the guest list for a wedding would be stressful even if you literally only knew ten people, so you can imagine that Harry and Meghan have…


The Most Absurd Political Moments Of 2017

December 30, 2017

If 2016 was the year of realizing stuff, then 2017 was the year of realizing politics is totally fucked. I mean, what can you expect when the year literally started with a reality T.V. star becoming president? In honor of the truly insane year that was 2017, The Betches Sup is counting down some of it’s most insane political moments. No, this doesn’t include everything. We’re not writing a novel….


Kelly Kapoor’s Top 10 Moments In Honor Of ‘The Office’ Returning

December 26, 2017

The year 2017 will go down in history as the year we’ve all officially given up. It’s happening across the board, from our politicians to my will to keep up a semi-decent physique to TV executives who are sexually harassing women left and right can’t be bothered to think of a fucking new concept for a TV show. 2017 was the year of revivals, not counting the revival that’s currently taking…


10 Netflix Documentaries That Will Make You Woke AF

December 25, 2017

The holidays are a upon us and that can only means we’ll all be spending a lot of time at home watching Netflix. And sure, you could use this valuable Netflix time to re-watch every episode of or veg out to (understandable), but you could also learn some shit. Crazy, I know, but in addition to being an archive of all your guiltiest pleasures, Netflix is also home to a…


What Your New Years Resolution Says About You

December 20, 2017

Ah, New Year’s Eve, the universally appealing fuckboy. The other 364 days of the year, we all sit around agreeing that NYE is a trash holiday, guaranteed to let you down—but as the 31st approaches (or that fuckboy sends out a “ u up?” text), we’re suddenly, inexplicably dashing out to buy sequined dresses, eyes swimming with the vision of the perfect kiss at midnight. We’ve discussed how the “new…


‘Riverdale’ Recap: Betty Gives Ariel Winter A Run For Her Money

December 14, 2017

Well fam, we’re here. We made it to Wednesday and, consequently, to another episode of . Last week was a fucking snoozefest, and I, for one, am ready to see Cheryl burn some shit to the ground again. Like, enough with The Black Hood bullshit; let’s get back to the storylines that are actually interesting, like ordering hits on would-be date rapists and outing mothers for their slutty high school…


Kim Kardashian Is Doing A New Reality Show

December 10, 2017

Because Kim Kardashian doesn’t have enough wealth or business ventures, she’s adding another project to her resume, and it’s a new reality show. Thankfully, she’s not doing a spin-off, because I think we all learned from that barely anyone cares about regular so spin-offs are a lost cause. *Thinks back to * Oh, wait, I guess we haven’t learned. But whatever, because this isn’t a reality show following Kim around: Kim is executive producing…